The Past Bastards

by WB:. R. H. Johnson

Humor, it's what makes things bearable in life, it’s what makes us feel better, it makes us forget at least temporarily, the misfortunes that may have befallen us. But most of all, it brings us closer. In the lodge there is always a jokester, I know in mine we have many. Most of which are all are Past Masters and who also lovingly refer to themselves as, that's right, The Past Bastards.

I don't know where it started or when, and I am sure it is not the first time you have heard the term. When I was at the door of the lodge for the first time, blindfolded, a Steward passed wind and loudly I might add. And as he nudged me from behind, he said to me, “Live through that, and you'll do fine.”

I cannot tell you how hard I was trying not to laugh when the Senior Deacon approached the door. I was smiling from ear to ear and somehow I knew the Senior Deacon knew why. After I had been Raised, I sat in lodge meeting after meeting, quietly. I wasn’t totally comfortable yet. Then, at a business meeting the Worshipful was closing his lodge. He asked “Have any of the Brethren about the lodge have anything to offer for the good of the fraternity?” And from one of the seats in the south, was again, the loudest breaking wind I had ever heard. This time it was a small sound effects box.

The lodge broke into laughter as well as the Worshipful. I'm not saying that this is the only kind of humor there is, there are the “goat jokes”, the obligatory jokes and of course military jokes. Navy griping on the Army, Army griping on the Marines etc. All in good fun. Our lodge has quite a few HVAC and Pipe-fitters and they go back and forth all night long. There isn't a meeting that goes by that we have a dry eye.

One particular evening in fact a brother brought up some new business after a slight argument that had taken place in a business meeting. The argument was silly, and we all knew it. But when it came time for committees reports, there had been discussion about how we as a lodge would find travel arrangements for a fellowship trip and my friend and brother asked “Why we had not yet booked travel to Alderaan?”, A fantastic Star Wars reference. Perhaps you get it or perhaps you don’t, but I will tell you again, it was a riot.

There is a definite need for humor in life and also in the lodge. There is a time for seriousness, a time for solemnity and a time for getting to work, but sometimes we just need a good laugh. Always remember, that humor when able to mitigate a slight argument or disagreement, is to me, always appreciated.

All hail the Past Bastards! err...Past Masters!


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